Cleansing Fire

Defending Truth and Tradition in the Roman Catholic Church

Posts Tagged ‘Sr. Binsack the Albed’

Alternative Liturgy for the Establishment of a Parish Minister Person

August 23rd, 2011, Promulgated by Gen

The following comes from Fr. Longenecker’s “Standing on My Head.” Oddly enough, I think this liturgy may be found in Sr. MaryAnn Binsack’s little white binder.

Alternative Liturgy for the Establishment of a Parish Minister Person

Remember: Say the Black Do the Red

The people who are church gather in the shared worship space while singing a suitable hymn, protest song or praise anthem. Suggested music choices are We are Gathering in this Place, We Would Rather Gather, Gather them In,  Bill Gaither’s Trio, Let Us Blather as We Gather, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I Dreamed a Dream, and other suitable songs by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Oscar Hammerstein.


The Bishop Shall process into the shared worship space with the Parish Minister Person. The Parish Minister Person shall be suitably attired in a soutane of light blue, a surplice and not-a-stole. A saturno of matching hue may be worn by the Parish Minister Person. The Presiding Person (previously known as ‘the Bishop’ shall wear a cope and miter (unless he feels that these garments may be offensive and seem hierarchical to the Parish Minister Person) Other vestments may be worn by appropriate ministers. A procession by as many lay persons as possible is to be desired. These persons shall represent every group and ministry within the parish. When all are in their place in the shared worship space the Presiding Person stands before them.

Presiding Person: The Lord be with you. How are you all doing today? Have you heard the one about the priest who went into a bar riding a camel? Another opening crowd pleasing joke may be used according to the discretion of the presiding person and the liturgical season of the year.

Parish Minister Person: That is a good one Presiding Person, and may the Lord be with you too.

Presiding Person: Brothers and Sisters we have gathered here to welcome N. as your new Parish Minister Person.

All: It is meet and right so to do.

Presiding Person: I am sure N. has met all the requirements of my divine office to be appointed as the Parish Minister Person. N. has completed the training that is set before him/her and he/she subscribes to the same view of church as I do, so I now ask you as the people of God who are church: Do you think that N. is a very nice person and would you like him/her to by your new Parish Minister Person?

All: We do like N. very much.

Presiding Person: N. are you willing to take on the duties of being this Parish Minister Person?

Parish Minister Person: I am willing.

Presiding Person: Do you accept that you are not a priest or a deacon, and that you shall only pretend to be one all the days of your life?

Parish Minister Person: It is meet and right so to do.

Presiding Person: Do you promise to faithfully complete your duties by dressing as a priest, behaving as a priest and doing everything a priest can do in order to deceive the faithful and usher in as soon as possible the new Vatican 3 church that all of us long for?

Parish Minister Person: With the help of God I will.

The Parish  Minister Person then stands before the Presiding Person who kneels and kisses his/her ring thus symbolizing the submission of the Presiding Person and all hierarchical, patriarchal type people to the will of the people of God who are church.

Parish Minister Person: (for he/she is now in charge) Let us all share together the sign of Peace.

The people who are church exchange the sign of peace among themselves while a suitable hymn or protest song is chanted. A liturgical procession/dance may now take place if the local custom and room in the shared worship space allows. The procession/dance should involve carrying the newly anointed Parish Minister Person at shoulder height in the seda gestatoria accompanied by bearers of the peacock fans, but if the parish have not such accouterments they may use a kitchen chair and rainbow banners. This shall be done unless the Parish Minister Person be of overlarge girth in which case he/she may be conveyed in a wheelchair suitably decorated in liturgical colors. During the procession/dance the Presiding Person should lie prostrate. On return to the sanctuary the Parish Minister Person says with arms extended:

Parish Minister Person: The Lord be with You

All: And also with you!

Parish Minister Person: I may not bless you so instead let us all say:

All: May the road rise up to meet us, May the sun always be at our back, and may the Irish eyes be smiling until we meet again, and now may God the Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer be with us forever more. AMEN.

The Parish Minister Person then removes the miter of the Presiding Person and imposes a large amount of ashes on the head of the Presiding Person as a sign of rejection of hierarchy and patriarchy. The Presiding Person then rends his garments (care should be taken that the Presiding Person is suitably attired in discreet undergarments so that the people who are church may not descend into levity) 

The Presiding Person now divested leads the procession to show penitence for being a hierarchical patriarchal sort of person. The Parish Minister Person shall be carried on the seda gestatoria surrounded by the bearers of the peacock fans, or rainbow banners as appropriate to the members there present. At the door of the shared worship space the Parish Minister Person, with arms extended shall say:

Parish Minister Person: All We Are Saying is…

All: …Give Peace a Chance.

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Pull Up Your Pants – Tuck In Your Amice

December 30th, 2010, Promulgated by Gen

I stumbled upon this video this morning as I was making my internet rounds. In essence, the City of Memphis got sick and tired of seeing its students “bustin’ the sag” – wearing their pants below the “thou shalt not” zone. And so, if any student is seen “bustin’ the sag,” they get “Urkeled.” Basically, the teacher, principal, or whoever sees them dressing like that is permitted (and encouraged) to pull their pants up above their navels, thus emulating the quintessential nerd from Family Matters. The students, who dread being forced to look like scholars of the very-intense variety, have opted to start dressing appropriately, thus negating the need for the teachers to rectify their sag-bustin’ tendencies. Indeed, the program has become quite a success, and may very well spread to other school districts.

This got me thinking – maybe we should do the same thing with our priests and religious? If you see Fr. So-and-so wearing his stole over his chasuble, it’s your duty to see that he gets thoroughly “Ratzingered.” You know what that means – tuck his stole under his chasuble. If you see Sr. Whoever wearing a billowing pillowsheet alb, go up and tie a chapel veil around her pretty little face. Just like how the Memphis school district noticed better-dressing students, we’ll notice better-dressing priests and religious. So remember – you have the right to see that all poorly-vested priests get “Ratzingered” on the spot. If they put up a fuss, strap a biretta on their head. That’ll teach them to wear rainbow stoles.

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Onward and Upward

November 17th, 2010, Promulgated by Gen

All – as much as I enjoy blogging with you, I feel that I am being called to do something else. What will I be doing? I’m applying to be the Director of Liturgy for the Diocese of Rochester. It’s like God has tailored me for this job. Just look at the description as found on the DoR website:

Director of Liturgy for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester, NY – assist the Bishop to work with clergy and parishes in fostering sound liturgical practice throughout the 12 county Diocese (See? “Sound liturgical practice” – That’s me!). Responsible for overseeing all diocesan liturgies (that means I’d be in charge of the Chrism Mass – no more prancing merry-men in tights) and conducting liturgical formation on diocesan and parish levels (My formation would include making every priest and liturgical minister read the actual documents of Vatican II on liturgy). Successful candidate will be a faith-filled person who believes in the values of the Second Vatican Council (The Church acknowledges Gregorian chant as specially suited to the Roman liturgy: therefore, other things being equal, it should be given pride of place in liturgical services. Sacrosanctum Concillium 116) and have proven leadership, administrative and communication skills (I trust running Cleansing Fire will suffice?). Background should include a Master degree in Liturgical studies or Theology and a minimum of 3-5 years parish experience, diocesan experience desirable.Send resume to Mary Bauer, Human Resources, Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester, 1150 Buffalo Road, Rochester NY 14624 – Fax (585-328-3149) email hr@dor.org.

So what do you think my chances are? Personally, I can’t even fathom the responsibility of this office. Imagine . . . Me! . . . in an alb . . . with that white binder . . . and that haircut which I guess is mandatory for people in this role . . . and the ability to actually smack people with a crozier. Gives you chills, doesn’t it?

**Please note – I am being totally sarcastic. I have no interest to bring myself to hippie-induced suicidal depression.**

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Bishop Clark’s Third Visit to a Parish… In One Year???

November 4th, 2010, Promulgated by Dr. K

If anyone does not believe that our bishop displays favoritism toward certain parishes and administrators, check out the following from Holy Name of Jesus in Greece:

Three visits in a single year! Has the bishop once made a visit to St. Stanislaus for the diocese’s only Sunday obligation Extraordinary Form Mass in the two decades of its existence? Correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t Bishop Clark failed to make a single trip to Our Lady of Victory since it was named a personal parish? While the bishop has been avoiding the traditional communities of the diocese, he has made several trips to the parishes of Sr. Joan Sobala and then-administrator Nancy DeRycke.

And once more, how come the bishop goes out of his way to celebrate Holy Name parish while at the same time he is attempting to close down the larger St. Thomas the Apostle community?

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Two bishops on Philemon

September 6th, 2010, Promulgated by Mike

Bishop Matthew Clark visited Holy Cross Parish on Sunday and celebrated the 10:00 am Mass. Contrary to some conjecture following the announcement of his visit, His Excellency made it clear at the beginning of his homily that

… nothing’s wrong.  There are no announcements up my sleeve. Father Wheeland is in perfectly good standing. Everything is beautiful.  I’m here only because I had no formal commitments this weekend and realized I hadn’t prayed with you in a while and I wanted to come and join you for Sunday worship and Fr. Tom was kind enough to arrange for that and I thank him for it.

And that was the extent of the bishop’s rationale for being at Holy Cross.

If he was aware of the pain he had caused so many families two years ago when he closed Holy Cross School, he did not acknowledge it.

If he felt any remorse over allowing a committee of highly talented parishioners to waste scores of man-hours devising a “Save Our School” plan, knowing full well he had no intention of accepting it no matter how good it was, he kept those regrets to himself.

If he realized that Sunday’s lector was one of the leaders of that committee, as well as the author of a January 16, 2008 D&C Guest Essay telling him that our children “deserve to top the list of the church’s priorities, with resources to match,” that our Catholic schools should not be viewed “as a drain on diocesan finances” but “rather … an investment in the future,” and urging him “and the task force members to visit Holy Cross or any Catholic elementary school and look into the faces of the children whose destinies they hold in their hands,” he did not publicly acknowledge it.

Finally, if he knew that the 9 year-old girl he pointed out during his homily was one of the children who sobbed for hours in her mother’s arms when she learned that he school was to close, he said not a word.

But I digress.

The preliminaries, such as they were,  having been dispensed with, Bishop Clark launched into the heart of his homily.

Sunday’s readings included a passage from Philemon, a letter St. Paul wrote to a Christian slave owner in Colossae that was to be hand-carried to him by Onesimus, one of his slaves.

Biblical scholars are in almost unanimous agreement that Onesimus was a run-away slave who had somehow found his way to Paul.  The NAB puts it this way:

[Onesimus was] a slave from Colossae (Col 4:9), who had run away from his master, perhaps guilty of theft in the process (Philemon 1:18). Onesimus was converted to Christ by Paul (Philemon 1:10). Paul sends him back to his master (Philemon 1:12) with this letter asking that he be welcomed willingly by his old master (Philemon 1:8-10, 14, 17) not just as a slave but as a brother in Christ (Philemon 1:16). Paul uses very strong arguments (especially Philemon 1:19) in his touching appeal on behalf of Onesimus. It is unlikely that Paul is subtly hinting that he would like to retain Onesimus as his own slave, lent to Paul by his master. Rather, he suggests he would like to have Onesimus work with him for the gospel (Philemon 1:13, 20-21).

Bishop Clark, in spite of the preponderance of scholarly opinion to the contrary, chose to portray Onesimus, not as a run-away, but as having been sent by Philemon to care for Paul during his imprisonment. This allowed His Excellency to opine that Paul’s opinion of slaves must have evolved as he matured in his Christianity and concluded from this that we should be willing to recommend as friend anyone,

no mater what status or standing or color or religion or orientation or anything else that person may have.  Here is one of God’s children. I present him or her to you. Do not treat him/her as a slave but, please, treat them as friend.

… which is, of course, a wonderful sentiment, but only one aspect of St. Paul’s argument in Philemon.

Bishop Clark’s entire homily may be viewed below, beginning at the 22:50 mark. (Do not let the initial silence bother you.  The church’s video recording system gets its audio input from the PA system, which was turned off until the lector took her place just before the beginning of Mass.)

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By way of contrast the reader might be interested in the treatment given this letter by Anglican Bishop Tom Wright, a widely recognized, world class scripture scholar.

Bishop Wright’s presentation on Philemon may be viewed here.

By way of conclusion it should be noted that His Excellency was accompanied on his visit by Sister Mary Ann Binsack, the reason for whose presence was something of a mystery.  Sister’s only apparent function at Mass was to be demonstrate that a close-coiffed, gray-haired, alb-clad nun could hold up a book for the celebrant to read just as well as any of our 12 year-old servers could on any other Sunday morning.  I suspect, however, that most of us already knew that.

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Babbling Brook

May 22nd, 2010, Promulgated by Dr. K

The following image from the Catholic Courier captures a scene from Good Shepherd’s 100th anniversary Mass (side note- Good Shepherd technically will celebrate their 100th anniversary this July). In this picture, you will see a variety of priests and wannabe priests holding hands aloft for the Our Father. What Nancy DeRycke (far right) and Sr. Mary Ann Binsack (2nd from right) are doing within the sanctuary is beside me.

What interests me most about this photograph, however, is the replica Niagara Falls in the foreground. What is the deal with that? Is that supposed to be a Baptismal font? (I think it is) Is it there for ambiance? What purpose does a waterfall serve in a Roman Catholic church?

Honestly, it looks like they are offering Mass in a tropical rain forest. Our churches today are hardly recognizable as Roman Catholic places of worship.

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A $250 Value, Yours for Much Less!

May 1st, 2010, Promulgated by Dr. K

WXXI, the local PBS affiliate, is currently holding an auction to support public programming in Rochester. One of the available items to bid on, according to DoR Catholic, is a private luncheon with Bishop Matthew Clark at Critics. According to the auction page, this lunch is valued at $250. I kid you not, $250. Thus far there has been 1 bid for $63. If you want to discuss Diocese of Rochester issues with Bishop Clark, you might as well throw in a $64 bid.

Here are the details:

“The high bidder and a guest can have the unique opportunity to enjoy great conversation and food with Bishop Matthew Clark of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester. Critic’s Restaurant, located at Greece Ridge Mall, and one of Bishop Clark’s favorite restaurants is providing lunch. Installed as the 8th Bishop of the Diocese of Rochester in June, 1979, Bishop Clark has been one of Rochester’s favorites. He was ordained Bishop in St. Peter’s Basilica Rome by Pope John Paul II in 1979. What an extraordinary opportunity to have a one-on-one conversation with Bishop Clark! High bidder is asked to please call Sister Mary Anne Binsack of the Diocese to make mutually agreeable arrangements.”

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Albs, Marty Haugen, Liturgical Dance

March 31st, 2010, Promulgated by Gen

So much for a fresh and vital Church – from these things it looks as if it’s stuck in the 1970’s. Remember folks, the 70’s died for a reason.

So, where do all three of these things occur in a hellish concoction of error? Yup, you guessed it, Bishop Clark’s annual Chrism Mass. We have received information regarding what exactly went on there, so I will break it down into swallowable chunks for you:

  • There was liturgical dance. An African American gentlemen wearing white pants and a white shirt flitted about the church and sanctuary of Sacred Heart Cathedral, adding to this “liturgical movement” very bizarre hand gestures which our noble informants cannot decipher.
  • Bishop Clark, in his generally decent homily, started acknowledging different cultures, i.e. celebrating diversity. However, he added a new category of “culture” by saying, “Some of us are gay, some of us are straight.” This was a random, unnecessary, and inappropriate statement. You don’t need to do political pandering to gays when you’re saying Mass. He’s probably just getting excited about the next Rainbow Sash Mass.
  • Sr. MaryAnn Binsack played the role of the she-monsignor, wearing her alb which complements her hair cut so nicely. Note that she stands for the consecration, just as many other of the women who like to play dress-up at Mass.
  • For the Eucharistic Prayer, the whole Eucharistic Prayer, Bishop Clark was accompanied by piano. Our informant said it was like “Bishop Clark: the Musical.” I was able to track down the precise setting used, and guess what? It’s not chant. It’s Marty Haugen’s composition of the Eucharistic Prayer. Why do certain of the clergy insist on using this man’s music? He’s not even Catholic, but a Lutheran. I know Bach was a Lutheran, too, but he gave us the B Minor Mass – why don’t we compare the two: click here for Haugen. I won’t dirty this blog by embedding his rubbish. Below is a video containing highlights of the B Minor Mass. This is what Sacred Heart is capable of, what with that magnifictenly grotesque organ, the Eastman School of Music, etc. But no, we get someone playing the piano. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Spend millions of dollars on the music at the cathedral, but then use a piano for the highest summit of the Mass. Yeah – no flaw in logic there.
  • The only positive thing is that in the front row of the congregation was a woman with a head covering. As our informant said, maybe she will make some of the priests and deacons think twice about what they’re doing.

I will be posting more details as they come in. Watch the Bach video to restore your sanity.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8XHrT7DBwA]

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