I am utterly sick and tired of the complete and blatant lack of respect for marriage or for the family in today’s society. How many times have I heard, from people I respect, the phrase, “Well, just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu.” You don’t HAVE a menu. You’re married–be it to your husband or wife or to God or the Church. Even if you’re not married but just dating someone, think about it first. Wouldn’t you want to be respected and loved, just as you are? As my art teacher told me, “Criticism is the result of comparison.” If your spouse or significant other begins to compare you to someone–maybe someone who is thinner, or who has blonde hair instead of brown, or is taller, or is shorter, or has a smaller nose, or maybe bigger eyes, or different-coloured eyes… do you see where I’m going with this? Because someone else is different, and probably more attractive because of that, it makes you lesser. Not as good. Not good enough.
Now go back and look at that sentence. “Just because I’m on a diet doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.” So you’re telling me, in short, that you are dissatisfied with what you have. As a result of that, you’re “shopping around” and just ogling everything else, everything which seems “better.”
If you, dear reader, are guilty of doing this, I’m afraid I have to tell you that this is not a very good mentality. It’s actually a sin. “…He designates as an adulterer not only the man who violates the marriage of another by intercourse, but that man, also, who contaminates it by a lustful look. Accordingly, it is quite dangerous for the mind to represent to itself something which is prohibited, just as it is rash, through an act of the will, to effect it in deed” (Tertullian, On Penitence).
To ogle someone else while you are committed in a relationship is what is commonly referred to as “cheating,” just not as blatantly obvious as actual physical “cheating.” It objectifies the opposite sex, turning them into simple toys, of sorts, for the one doing the ogling. Ogling someone outside of your relationship, like kissing someone else’s girlfriend or boyfriend while you’re both drunk out of your minds, is unfaithful and irresponsible.
I’d like to conclude by saying that you’re not just on a diet, you don’t even have an a menu. Besides, what more do you need? Married men and women are married forever (one would hope, but we’ve covered that in other posts), and priests and religious are promised to the Church and to God. So who could ask for anything more?