Cleansing Fire

Defending Truth and Tradition in the Roman Catholic Church

Posts Tagged ‘Modesty’

You don’t HAVE a menu.

January 26th, 2011, Promulgated by Ink

I am utterly sick and tired of the complete and blatant lack of respect for marriage or for the family in today’s society.  How many times have I heard, from people I respect, the phrase, “Well, just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu.”  You don’t HAVE a menu.  You’re married–be it to your husband or wife or to God or the Church.  Even if you’re not married but just dating someone, think about it first.  Wouldn’t you want to be respected and loved, just as you are?  As my art teacher told me, “Criticism is the result of comparison.”  If your spouse or significant other begins to compare you to someone–maybe someone who is thinner, or who has blonde hair instead of brown, or is taller, or is shorter, or has a smaller nose, or maybe bigger eyes, or different-coloured eyes… do you see where I’m going with this?  Because someone else is different, and probably more attractive because of that, it makes you lesser.  Not as good.  Not good enough.

Now go back and look at that sentence. “Just because I’m on a diet doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.”  So you’re telling me, in short, that you are dissatisfied with what you have.  As a result of that, you’re “shopping around” and just ogling everything else, everything which seems “better.”

If you, dear reader, are guilty of doing this, I’m afraid I have to tell you that this is not a very good mentality.  It’s actually a sin.  “…He designates as an adulterer not only the man who violates the marriage of another by intercourse, but that man, also, who contaminates it by a lustful look.  Accordingly, it is quite dangerous for the mind to represent to itself something which is prohibited, just as it is rash, through an act of the will, to effect it in deed” (Tertullian, On Penitence).

To ogle someone else while you are committed in a relationship is what is commonly referred to as “cheating,” just not as blatantly obvious as actual physical “cheating.”  It objectifies the opposite sex, turning them into simple toys, of sorts, for the one doing the ogling.  Ogling someone outside of your relationship, like kissing someone else’s girlfriend or boyfriend while you’re both drunk out of your minds, is unfaithful and irresponsible.

I’d like to conclude by saying that you’re not just on a diet, you don’t even have an a menu.  Besides, what more do you need?  Married men and women are married forever (one would hope, but we’ve covered that in other posts), and priests and religious are promised to the Church and to God.  So who could ask for anything more?

A Note on Modesty-Canandaigua Academy Edition

September 23rd, 2010, Promulgated by Abaccio

Parents often complain about the immodest, inappropriate behavior exhibited by teens and young adults (and hyped up by the media).  All too often, these same people allow their children to own immodest clothing, watch whatever they want on television, and go through their teenage years generally unsupervised.

Mind you, more often than not, young people take their behavioral cues from their parents.  If it is okay for a father to watch hyper-sexed television and movies, then it rings false to say that it’s inappropriate for his children.  Dear Dads–IT’S NOT OKAY!  Young people do not respond to “age-based morals,” by which I mean the all-too common parental tack “you’re too young for that, son.”  If it’s inappropriate at age 14, it’s inappropriate at age 40.

Enter a rather interesting story that’s made a few headlines lately.  Canandaigua Academy postponed its first dance of the year, and instituted some new rules and supervisory techniques for their homecoming dance this weekend.  Among them:

1 ) No back-to-front dancing

2 ) No sexually explicit dancing of any kind

3 ) One Strike[violation of 1) or 2)], You’re OUT!–No warnings, no refunds

4 ) More chaperones

5 ) More lighting

6 ) Open to parental attendance as chaperones

7 ) No music videos will be played

8 ) The DJ will be moved to the center of the dance floor

9 ) A greater variety of music (read: LESS RAP/HIP HOP)

10 ) Ensure that students adhere to the dress code

Parents, take a cue from Canandaigua Academy.  Request similar changes for your children’s school dances.  I, for one, applaud this against-the-grain development!  By the way, folks, do not assume that simply because your child attends a Catholic School, that school dances are markedly more appropriate than they are in public schools.  As a former Catholic School student, and as someone who works closely with current local Catholic School students, I can assure you that they are not.  Note:  By no means am I claiming that this occurs everywhere.  The next time I see an appropriate school dance will be the FIRST time.