Kindly note that in the “Interdict” column to the right, I have added an item:

I trust I have made myself sufficiently opaque? The explanation for both is as follows:

1. I was shopping today at Wegmans. If pressed, I would swear to the fact that every moronic child of God in the county was in this one location at once. Is it really so hard to move your cart one foot in the opposite direction to let another person pass? Evidently it is. And I think you all know exactly what I’m talking about: you’re trying to rush through your shopping because you know what you want, you know where it is, and you need to get home to watch Mother Angelica’s Religious Catelogue on EWTN. However, a little old lady of approximately 150 years is standing with her cart perfectly centered in the aisle, but at such an angle that one cannot pass. While looking at her pleadingly to move her cart, you realize that she’s carrying on a conversation with the various cans of Italian-cut Green Beans. “Well, Mr. Jolly Green Giant, you look like you’re awfully fresh. But little Miss Dole has a prettier packaging. What’s that, Mr Giant? You want me to eat your products? Well, we’ll just see about that! When you start decorating prettier, maybe then I’ll have your beans with dinner.”

Tags: Thou Shalt Laugh

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